In the conscious community, love is central. Love is a quality, an approach, an embodiment.
It’s the type of glasses through which we choose to see ourselves, others and the world. It’s the ultimate expression of who we are, what we are and what we are doing here.
So where does good-old-fashioned falling in love with a fellow human being fit in with LOVE?
Are they contradictory or complementary? Is one a means to the other? The indescribable feeling of melting into another human. The longing to be close, to merge, to be cocooned. The feeling of being understood, appreciated and cherished. The unbearableness of parting. Is this also LOVE?
How can we reconcile loving the whole world, the whole of Existence/God/Spirit, and also singling out one special someone as our chosen lover? If we fall in love in this way, what does it mean about us and our level of consciousness?
And then there’s that dirty word: attachment.
If we’re attached to things and people then are we unenlightened, living in illusion?Isn’t the goal non-attachment, freedom from lust, craving and desires? That is what we are led to believe. But attachment is both a natural human phenomenon forged in the womb, and a quality conditioned in us from birth. Together, love and attachment form a complex double helix that spiral together in our genetic and learned make-up.
Knowing that they are both part of the human condition, how do we proceed with our growth and flowering as conscious human beings, when intense feelings of attachment, longing and the desire to possess and merge with another arise in us? I imagine that many of us do the same thing: pass judgment. But please, stop. Judging, denying or suppressing our attachment will only cause it to intensify. And anything that intensifies in the shadows must eventually manifest physically or emotionally.
Instead, I follow Osho’s wisdom and watch. In the beautiful moments: I watch. And in the painful moments: I watch.
I watch myself falling in love with this other human being. I watch myself singling him out as unique, and special, which of course he is. I watch myself loving, revering and showering him with attention. I watch myself being loved, revered and showered with attention. And I watch my fearful thoughts of doubt, abandonment and rejection. I watch my self preserving tactics of forecasting doom and gloom and feeling the imagined pain of this magical glow being lifted off of me like a doona on a winter’s morning. I try to protect myself. But who am I protecting? Is it me, the woman who sits here now writing this with open eyes, or is it another version of myself, young, vulnerable, confused…
Yes I am human. I am a vehicle for falling in love and I am a vehicle for LOVE. What a beautiful gift from existence.
I choose to live the moment fully. If I feel ecstatic and carefree, I watch without judgment. If I grasp or cling, I watch without judgment. And rather than holding onto it just for myself, I let this serendipitous meeting of energies that fills me with joy and love, flow through me so that its glow radiates beyond my boundaries to all and everything.
Rebecca is a lawyer and hypnotherapist practising in Melbourne. She specialises in conscious dating and relationships, as well as deep healing of wounds through talk, touch and sound.